Need Ways to Save a Marriage
Searching for ways to save a marriage can be like looking for a life preserver on a sinking ship, stressful to say the least.
As the water gushes in, you wonder how in the world could such a tranquil journey turn into a catostrophic disaster?
One minute you were enjoying the sunny weather. The next minute your were trying to keep from drowning.
But try not to panic. Instead, take a deep breath and relax for a moment.
But how can I relax, you say, when my marriage is sinking quickly?
It's simple my friend, It's time for you to trust God.
You see, no matter what the problem is you're experiencing, applying Godly principles is STEP 1 to turning things around.
If you want to know how to stay married when devastation surrounds you; here are 10 ways to save a marriage using Godly principles...
10 Ways to Save a Marriage:
1. Love What God Loves and Hate What God Hates
"For I hate divorce! says the LORD, the God of Israel. It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat, says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself; always remain loyal to your wife." Malachi 2:16
God hates divorce and so should you. So, in looking for ways to save a marriage, you must start by taking the word divorce out of your vocabulary.
Imagine for a moment that your marriage is your dream home. By taking divorce out of your vocabulary, you are removing all possible exits from your dream house -- there's no way out!
If your house catches fire, the only choice the two of you have is to stay inside and find a way to put out the blaze. Divorce is no longer an option.
2. Change Your Speech
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
As difficult as it may be, you must learn to filter your responses to your spouse through the love of God. That means do away with the sarcasm and sharp comments.
Someone once said if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. We disagree when it comes to marriage. As a Christian, you must find something nice to say. In marriage, silence is not golden.
3.Be Willing to Forgive
Lately, you find yourself thinking about it all the time. What is it?
It is whatever your spouse did that hurt you so deeply. Was it adultery, lying, or disrespect?
Whatever it was, you can hardly bring yourself to believe they betrayed you in such a terrible way.
Listen, I know it was hurtful. And truthfully, there's absolutely no excuse for what they did.
But the bottom line is that you must forgive. It's simply not optional if you want God to forgive you of your sins. (See Colossians 3:13)
4. Swallow Your Pride
"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18
What is pride? The New American Webster Dictionary defines it as, a sense of one's own self worth. The Bible describes it as thinking more highly of yourself than you should.
Are you prideful? The truth is, all of us are to some extent.
Pride causes you to say and do things just to "save face". Pride will cause you to say things like, "I'm not apologizing until s/he apologizes."
But be careful. Like it says in Proverbs, pride comes before destruction. It simply is not good in marriage or in life.
Make a decision to get rid of pride. That is, if you want to save your marriage. Ask yourself this question, is it more important that I be right, or that we be reconciled?"
(Ways to Save a Marriage Cont'd)
5. Seek Godly Help
Psalm 37:30 says, "The Godly offer good counsel; they know what is right from wrong."
One of the mistakes I (Wanda) made in my first marriage was waiting too long to seek Godly counsel. By the time I sought help, my marriage was already on the bottom of the ocean.
Don't make the same mistake. If you need Christian marriage counseling, swallow your pride and get it. ways to save a marriage
6. Know the Needs of Your Spouse
Sure, you know what you need from your spouse. You've written it down and told him/her over a hundred times.
But do you know what your spouse needs from you?
Remember, marriage is about the needs of TWO people, it's not all about you.
Find out what your spouse needs and then make an effort to meet their needs. In other words, don't be selfish.
7. Demonstrate Unconditional Love
Keep in mind that there is no such thing as falling in or out of love. God is love and He never changes. So, quit saying you're no longer in love with your spouse.
Grant it, you may not get butterflies in your stomach anymore, but that has nothing to do with love.
Love is a decision. So, make a decision today to love your spouse no matter what happens. Love as God loves you.
8. Be Honest
Being honest sounds so simple but for many couples it's not. Secrets between spouses can quickly destroy your marriage. The two of you must be willing to share the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
Having secrets in your marriage is an open door for the enemy. Secrets promote division. Remember, you are not divided, you are "one flesh".
9. Be Patient
As you travel the road to restoring your marriage, remember change will not come overnight. It took time for your marriage to get where it is now and it will take time to repair it. Be patient.
10. Draw Closer to God
James 4:8 says if you would come closer to God, He will come closer to you. With that being said, you must make God a priority in your life and in your marriage.
Pray to Him daily and ask Him for more ways to save a marriage. But don't be surprised when He directs you back to Scripture.
Because applying Godly principles will always be STEP 1 in restoring a Christian marriage.
Thank you for reading ways to save a marriage, please continue to browse our website for other helpful marriage tools.
Merry Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
We want some figgy pudding
We want some figgy pudding
We want some figgy pudding
Please bring it right here!
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
So bring it out here!
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is a popular secular 16th century English carol from West Country of England. It is one of the few traditional holiday carols that makes mention of the New Year's celebration.
In the days of Olde England, groups of traveling singers would entertain for food or pay. These groups were called "waits" and were extremely popular at Christmastime. We Wish You a Merry Christmas is one of these old tunes.
We wish you a Merry Christmas History has its roots in England. However the author and the composer of the song still remains unknown to the whole world. Therefore the date of the publication of the song is not known. This song We wish you a Merry Christmas actually reflects the Christmas tradition of showering gifts on the people who wandered from house to house, singing these Christmas songs to please the wealthy people of the community.
Meditation Techniques
Meditation Techniques
Meditating on the Lord can be one of the easiest yet at the same time most difficult activities we can do to draw closer to God and grow spiritually. The simplicity is in the act of just being still in silence and solitude. The difficulty is that sitting still and being quiet for more than a few minutes can cause a minor anxiety attack. Many of us are not very comfortable with our thoughts and being alone with God. For some it's like watching grass grow. Others may be afraid of what's lurking underneath the surface of our hearts. Yet, spending time with God through meditation can literally change your life for the better. In this article, I've listed some common ways to meditate on the Lord. Read and select the one that feels most comfortable for you and begin today.
Using a Scripture or Mantra
Scriptures tell us that when we abide with Christ, he abides with us, and without his living and guiding spirit, we can do nothing. (St. John 15) One form of meditating on the Lord is to abide with him; to sit at his feet and to wait in his presence, just like the child who sits in his mother or father’s lap to be comforted.
This can be accomplished by carving out time each day to just sit quietly before the Lord where you are free from distractions. The ocean or secluded areas of nature are great places to meditate, but a quiet area in your home works just as well. Initially, meditating on the Lord by abiding may be difficult because our mind tends to be restless and wanders profusely; but with consistency you’ll gain more and more control over your thoughts. Many meditators select a scriptural passage or word to focus on and anchor their attention, often called a mantra. Your mantra or scriptural phrase can be “the Lord is my Sheperd,” “I walk by faith,” “the joy of the Lord is my strength”, “I cast my cares upon the Lord,” or “Peace be Still.” The late John Main, one of the most influential spiritual teachers in the Christian meditation tradition encourages believers to use the mantra, “Maranatha” that means, “Come Lord Jesus.” This mantra is suggested because of its relevance in scriptures and its lack of an emotional or mental references, which inhibits our minds from creating a mental attachment to the word.
You can also select a whole scripture or just one word, like “Jesus” or “Jehovah” to meditate on. Meditate in silence or record music to play in the background. It’s best to time the music or use a timer so that you’re not worried about being late for work or missing an appointment. As you meditate, become fully present by paying attention to your breathing and your mantra. You can silently repeat your mantra in alignment with your breathing or anytime your mind begins to wander off. You can also create a mental picture in your mind to focus on. As you practice being still and calming your thoughts, you’ll sense a greater feeling of God’s presence and a greater sensitivity to hearing his voice.
You’ll begin to sense the yearnings of the Holy Spirit as he drops words or impressions on your heart. One time during a meditation I had a vision of me and all my family members standing in a circle and sharing our desires for the coming year. Several days later I shared my vision and we set aside a time to dedicated the New Year to the Lord and touch and agree on our heart’s desires in prayer. As you practice this form of meditation, you’ll find old weights and worries seem to disappear. No evil thing can stand in God’s presence. I created five guided- meditation titled, Abiding with Christ and Mantra Meditation and a series of Quiet Time Meditations which guide believers through these steps.
Guided Christian Meditations
Guided meditations are another method that can help you to meditate on Christ. Guided-meditations are usually on a CD or cassette. Guided Christian meditations are great for beginning meditators and are a good transition to learning to meditating by abiding or with a mantra. Some people need the added stability and structure of being guided through their meditation experience. Most guided meditation CDs begin with a relaxation exercises followed by a scriptural narrative. Some are filled with biblical stories; others are more visual or interactive like taking you on a walk through nature or nailing your cares to the cross. Guided Christian meditations can also cover a wide variety of topics that help you trust God for healing, to control negative thoughts, or to release painful memories of the past. I even have meditations on nurturing your vision, attracting love, overcoming anger, and releasing toxic emotions. Christ-centered guided meditations work well when you want to focus on a specific aspect of your Christian walk. The relaxation exercises prepare your mind to absorb God’s word and His principles for the greatest effectiveness. The benefits are that you learn to relax and quiet your thoughts while being submerged with the scriptures. The talking throughout the meditation helps you to stay present and focused and diminishes wandering thoughts.
Meditating on God's Word
Another popular and more historical way of meditating is what the Christian monks called contemplative prayer. This form of meditating involved selecting a short scripture or biblical passage and then reflecting on it for the entire day. During their reflections, the monks would think about how these particular scriptures were relevant to their lives. They took ownership of the scriptures by making them their own. They measured their behavior by them and contemplated what changes they needed to make so that their life personally reflected the passages. You can add this form of meditating to your daily devotion, by selecting and writing down a particular passage and then ask God to make this passage real to you. Interestingly, the passage will seem to take on a life of its own. Scripture says that God’s word is like a two edge sword, it is alive and it quickens us. (Hebrews 4:12) We are changed by the word; but the word has to get into our heart and our spirit and not just our minds. Many years ago as I began to study the word to write my manuscript, “Don’t Go Back to Egypt,” I was amazed to see the meanings in scriptures that eluded me before. Meditating on the word by taking small bites and then chewy them slowly is transformative and much more effective than just reading whole chapters of scriptures.
Joining a Meditation Group
Lastly, consider joining a Christian Meditation Group. Through the World Community for Christian Meditation Website (WCCM) (www.wccm.org ) you may be able to locate a group in your area. If no groups are available, consider starting your own. The organization provides resources on how to start and maintain a Christian Meditation Group. By joining a group you can receive instruction on meditating as well as benefit from the knowledge of some veteran meditators. Just like corporate church worship can be uplifting, energizing, and unifying, meditating on God collectively also ushers in the sweet spirit and presence of God. Groups usually meet once or twice a week and are free of charge. During the meeting, a short teaching relating to meditation or spiritual growth is shared by the facilitator. This is followed by a time of meditation which last for about 20 minutes. Afterwards, there may be a shared discussion or believers may be asked to leave quietly as to not disturb those still waiting on the Lord. Laurence Freeman, Director of the WCCM writes, “the meditation group is the most contemporary expression of and answer to the tremendous spiritual hunger that so characterizes our time.”
Conclusion
To conclude, meditating is a spiritual practice that can enhance our relationship with God. It can help us to take on his character by spending time in God’s presence. Meditating on a scriptural passage or mantra teaches us to calm our restless thoughts and creates a greater sensitivity to hearing God’s voice. And meditating on God’s word in the form of contemplative prayer is a way to reflect upon the scripture and ponder its relevancy in our personal life. Joining a Christian meditation group can offer guidance, experience, and a place to share the art of meditation collectively. All four forms of meditation can change us and make our life more fulfilling, Christ-centered, and balanced.
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